Dead dogs & divorce

Audacious
&
Unleashed

The canula is in her vein.

Droplets of the green fluid are glistening in the syringe.

She is calm now. She is relaxed.

I am upset. I am crying. I am sad. I am suffering.

We've traded places almost.

Whitey is no longer stressed because the mass in her neck has suddenly got so large that it is restricting her breathing. But I am anguished.

And then I am not anguished and suffering.

I am still sad. I still look forward to coming home after work and catching up on the latest foreign detective/spy series on the mattress on the wee back deck with the big girl, Whitey the greyhound, before I remember that she is dead.

But I can get back into life, into action. And then I got that there is a clear distinction between sad and suffering.

I suffered for a long time after previous pets had died. Even though Whitey was the best dog I've had, as much as they've all been characters, I suffered the least.

Thank you, self, for taking on training & development.

And then I realised, I was sad after my husband left to live with another woman, but I suffered and unwittingly, all around me suffered. And I incapacitated myself with my suffering.

Wish I new then what I know now.

O well. I didn't. Forward march.

I have reconnected with my ex-husband and his wife for an empowering future with our granddaughter, and future grandchildren, and our amazing sons.

Growth is the only option.

Remaining puddles after the recent rain were muddy & stinky.
Perfect for greyhounds.

Out walking Whitey the greyhound when I saw the mango tree had sprouted.... 

the mango tree that had been chainsawed down.

I think I can. I think I can. I think, I think, I think I can.
New growth at top right corner of the stump.

Tip.
Growth is the only option,
especially if it seems impossible.

Listen to your inner dog.

Whitey the greyhound is my dog. 

Fact from somewhere: people with dogs walk more.

I take Whitey for a walk in the natural bushland park near my home. She tells me when she needs it. She also makes herself comfortable and waits for my routines and rituals. No pressure. Well actually it's gentle pressure.

She knows how to make herself comfortable. She has a lovely sheepskin topped, doubled-up queen sized mattress topper to dream on, right at the back door. But she knows best and chooses dirt, freshly dug.

Tip.

Choose your own dirt.

No matter what other people think is just right for you.

Even if it is sold in the kindest of ways.

Trust yourself.

Whitey the greyhound